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In Ten Years

In Ten Years

As I reacted to the natural call of my offspring (“DAD!”) for the 1,528th time this weekend, I recognized that I was starting to sound annoyed in my responses. Annoyed. Annoyed with what? Being needed? Loved? Not alone?

Overall I consider myself to be a pretty good dad. But every once in a while I stop and see myself as being a complete ass. I allow my ever evolving, busy life to cloud my judgement and get in the way of valuing what’s really important. It’s the moments when I’m in the middle of something personal or maybe working from home (which I’m remarkably fortunate to be able to do from timeIMG_8576 to time), maybe typing an e-mail, that the adolescent piranha that can be my children, all seem to peck away at my aura simultaneously each with their own specific need, ie.”DAD can you make me a snack,” “Dad, my computer won’t work,” “Dad,where’s the remote?,”  “Dad I’m bored,” “DAD!, blankety blank didn’t flush,” “dad have you seen my … oh there it is.”

I’ve at times asked them to give me a minute so I can focus on the task in front of me assuring them that I’ll be with them in a minute. By the tenth time, I know I can come off somewhat rudely. Something about the same question being asked ten times within five minutes will cause that.

Yet, it’s those moments when I get made at myself for reacting that way. Because the truth is; in another ten years, I’ll miss the beckoning. I’ll long for just one, “DADDDD?!!!” And wish to God one of them would need me to find the brush their sister took without asking.

Remember, the days with our kids are limited. Embrace every moment, answer every question and once in a while, let the rest of the world wait and be the dad!

 

 

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2016 in choices, Uncategorized

 

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Your Own Private Idaho

If you don’t already do it, I highly recommend you find both the place and the time to step away once in a while from the craziness of your life, the pressures of your world and chaos that can overwhelm you. I personally believe this to be a necessity not a luxury. When you’re immersed in your life, it’s very difficult to gain a proper perspective of the big picture. Over time you’ll likely become drained and unable to think clearly as you’re continually bombarded with calls, e-mails, demands, needs, wants etc., making it virtually impossible to give a plan of action the proper attention and consideration. That leads to falling into survival mode rather than thinking strategy and making plans to get yourself into a better position. When you’re simple flying by the seat of your pants to survive, it’s impossible to think clearly and consider options beyond tomorrow let alone next month or next10339327_10152417504572908_8563728598664062419_o year.

For me it’s the finger lakes and whether I can afford it or not, the kids and I go every year to kick off the summer. We spend a week away from responsibilities and make every effort to focus on us, our lives and our future. The kids deserve your undivided attention when possible and this is a great way to do it. And you’ll be surprised at how clearly you can think, even when they’re with you, when the demands of your life aren’t dragging you down or pulling you away.

But whether the kids are with you or not, I believe it’s important that you discover the power of stepping back and giving yourself a chance to recharge, regroup and make a plan. Make some difficult decisions that can set you on a better course for you and your family. These should be choices that you can execute when you get back. Choices that will feel empowering as you start to build a new tomorrow that makes more sense for your new direction. Letting go of the world you built isn’t always easy, but once you can visualize where you want to see yourself a year from now, you’ll be able to recognize what steps need to be taken to get there. These calculated decisions can be made knowing there’s a purpose to each that leads to a more fitting environment for your new life. The craziness of your current life will be waiting for you as soon as you walk back in the front door, but you should be better equipped to juggle the madness again knowing you have a plan and a purpose. Yes, there will still be elements of survival to your current state, but it should be more manageable if you know in your head it’s a temporary situation, not the foundation of the rest of your life.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 2, 2014 in balance, beginnings, Divorce

 

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