Divorced Laundry

04 Jun

Scrambling through a particularly chaotic week it dawned on me how similar my life was to doing the family laundry. It’s uncanny how similar each day can be to a particular type of load. For example; there’s the adult load which is full of big items that take up a lot of space but are quick and easy to fold. (Adult clothes, towels, those kinds of things). Typically those loads don’t take long to fold and you can accomplish a lot in a short period of time. It’s like mowing the lawn. Big project but simple; straight-forward, Done! Trim with a couple pair of socks and you’re ready to move on.


Contrast this with the baby’s load of laundry. There are likely 48 onezies, 153 tiny little socks, 24 shirts and a number of things you have no idea what they are but they’re itty bitty and impossible to fold. These equate to the days that are full of a “laundry list” of a lot of little tasks and errands that get strung together to create a ten hour day. Inevitably you’ll forget something and won’t realize it until you’re finished. Kind of like getting to the end of the load only to realize there are several socks left that don’t have a match. By the end of it you’re like, “If I have to reach in to that damn dryer one more time and hit my elbow on the door someone’s going into timeout!”

There’s also that load of clothes from two pre-teens that are similar in size making it near impossible to recognize whose is whose. Inevitably you’re going to mix em’ up and get all kinds of complaints, not unlike getting to work only to realize you grabbed your daughter’s lunch instead of yours.

Life is also full of awkward moments. Which I equate to your teen’s delicates that are impossible to fold and frankly, make you a little uncomfortable handling in the first place. This of course quickly turns into the perfect excuse for teaching them to do their own laundry. At the office we call this delegating.

As men, one of the positives of being single is that our laundry consists of nothing more than a couple of pair of jeans, a few classic T’s and and two pair of socks. But let’s face it, that makes for a pretty boring load of laundry after a while. Sometimes it’s nice to find a pair of Hello Kitty socks or some Superman pj’s (not mine) mixed in for good measure just to make sure your own clothes down get too lonely.

1 Comment

Posted by on June 4, 2015 in Uncategorized


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One response to “Divorced Laundry

  1. Ted Ulan Ihde

    June 8, 2015 at 8:52 am

    My wife, Tanya Muriel Ulan, who works at American Financial Resources, took a rather unique approach in her divorce pursuit. Tanya, my wife, made seemingly unlimited “911” calls to the police to “report” never-occurring “domestic instances”. None occurred. Never. Probably 8 to 10 times…with police showing up at my home, interviewed the kids, and then temporary restraining orders. First temporary restraining order…dismissed. Second T.R.O…denied. Third T.R.O…dismissed. There is justice in the court…thank god.

    So Tanya has the police interview my son at my friend’s home, which is where I was staying in order to avoid having my children go through this. And then Tanya had the police interview my oldest daughter at my parents’ home…telling the police I “threatened” her. Nothing like that ever occurred. Lies. 100% lies. My daughter…crying her eyes out, asking over and over again, “Why is this happening to my family?” Heartbreaking. Not for me, but really for my children.

    This being said, what kind of mom puts her children through that? Police interrogations? False police reports? Children interviewed by the police? Police interviewing my children at my friend’s home, and at my parent’s home? Wish I was Catholic, because then at least I could believe that these cruel actions Tanya Ulan took to hurt the children would be a “mark” against her I God’s eyes. Not being Catholic…kind of sucks.

    Posted by Ted Ulan Ihde


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