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God Rest Ye Stressful Gentlemen

23 Dec

Ahh the holidays! Anyone who watches television or spends time on Facebook knows it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Everyone is so happy because it’s a time when life is pretty much perfect. We’re baking and shopping and wrapping and drinking and celebrating and worshiping. Families are in complete harmony, everyone has everything they could ever want and we’re all so gosh darn giddy we can’t help but break into a chorus of Jingle Bells every ten minutes.

And then there’s reality.

It’s about stress people! Most people I’ve talked to this holiday season seem to be way behind on just about everything. Perhaps it was the late Thanksgiving this year. But more than one friend has told me that they’re behind on Christmas cards, their house is half decorated, and they can’t find their keys. (OK, that last one was me).images-3

Let’s face it, the truth is the holidays can be incredibly stressful. Our cash flow hasn’t increased, yet our debit cards are getting dinged every fifteen seconds. We’re inundated every morning by another 83 e-mails from stores offering us 85% off and free shipping on orders over $100.00. There’s the traveling, shopping, and visiting. People seem abnormally judgmental as well, which seems contrary to what the whole Christmas thing is about, but hey, that’s just me.

The kids are out of school so there’s often childcare stress and if you’re divorced it means in most cases spreading yourself even thinner or having to be away from the kids. Depending on your relationship with your ex, you may be experiencing added anxiety attempting to schedule time with the kids and working through what can be one of the most frustrating aspects of a divorce, while at the same time trying to ensure the kids have a wonderful holiday. Regardless of the state of your divorce, chances are you’re also feeling an ounce or two of guilt for creating added stress for the kids as they get bounced around from home to home.

The holidays are also a time when people miss loved ones who aren’t around to celebrate with. We forget how many people are either separated due to military service, work, divorce or death. If you’re human, there’s a very good chance you fall into one of those categories and are missing someone this holiday season. As my readers know, this aspect of the holidays is hitting close to home this year and its affect is unmistakable. It can really put your holiday season into a tailspin and is a great cause of depression during this time of year.

And yet we move forward, faced with a choice of succumbing to the stresses that the holidays bring, or focusing our attention on bringing cheer to those around us. The reality is that the holidays aren’t unlike any
images-2other time of the year. There’s good and there’s bad. And that which we choose to focus on is really up to us. It’s easy during down time to focus on the negatives and the hardships. To feel sorry for ourselves. To stress about bills, schedules, family, traveling and being alone. But don’t we do that enough during the other 364 days a year?

My wish for you this year is that you can find joy in the season. To see through the clutter and allow the spirit of the holidays into your heart. To rise above and combat every argument with a smile and a cookie. I guarantee you that no matter how bad your world is, the guy across the street is struggling just as much if not more. Let’s face it, we all have our crosses to bare. That’s one aspect of life we really have no control over. And I’ve seen people dragging crosses ten times bigger than mine. Some things just are what they are and it’s up to us to pull up our big girl panties and keep moving forward. Otherwise we trip on em, and then we just look stupid. Let’s just be honest and say it; for many the holidays suck. So let’s all band together and have a sucky holiday together. Maybe in doing so we’ll discover a spirit we hadn’t anticipated.

I believe the holidays are a chance to let people know that they’re not alone. That someone on this earth may be hurting too for the exact same reason. It’s not easy though. It means shrugging off our own hardships and opening our hearts to another who may be hurting as well. Sometimes it’s something as simple as a smile, a friendly greeting or just an acknowledgement that someone recognizes your pain. And so I say to you, you’re not alone and you’re going to be OK. So turn on some Christmas music, make some hot cocoa and do your best to focus on the positives. I’m pretty sure if you look hard enough you have a stocking full.

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2 responses to “God Rest Ye Stressful Gentlemen

  1. Pat Rooney

    December 24, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Oh, my, how connected I am to this article! So I put on a Jimmy Buffet Christmas CD loud! Got out my mother’s favorite Elmo she loved to hug to keep her smiling when low. Hell, yes, it hurts, but taking positive action does help! Love you, Bill. Keep writing.

     
    • divorced dad

      December 24, 2013 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks Pat! Please pass along Christmas greetings to your (our) family!

       

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