“Whoa There Partner!!”

13 Aug

So you’ve worked hard since your divorce to pick yourself up and face the world again. You’ve transformed your mindset, taken the high road and grown in so many positive ways. Your outlook has been better, you’re happier, calmer, more content and more at ease. It wasn’t easy, but you managed to see the world from a new perspective and met every challenge head on. You’ve battled negativity and overcome hurdles you never thought you’d ever manage to conquer. You’re approaching anxiety calmly and with a cool head. You’ve remained unrattled even in the most chaotic scenarios. You feel like a new person and you’re convinced you’re on your way to a happier healthier life.

Then this morning you woke up angry, short tempered, frustrated and convinced it’s all falling to pieces. What the hell happened? How is it possible? Where’d the new you go? Now you’re mad at yourself for being mad. And so it reverberates.

But here’s the difference. You’re aware of it. You’ve noticed it. That didn’t happen in the past. The mere fact that you’re recognizing the difference is huge. It’s a new level of consciousness and one that will allow you to weather this emotional storm.

Consider the pace you’ve been going. You’ve accomplished things you’ve never dreamed possible. But you’re only human and at some point your mind and body are going to say, “whoaaa there partner.” It’s inevitable that your system will eventually shut down and require a recharge. If you’re like me, when you’re flying and are forced to stop for a moment, it can be frustrating. You feel momentum and don’t want to stop. But some times we need to pull over and allow our systems to recuperate.

I’ve never been one to believe in the affects of chemical imbalances. But I’ll tell you, my mind is shifting. When you are constantly doing an introspection, considering every aspect of your being and what’s changing day to day, it’s easy to see that something as simple as increasing your intake of water can have a huge affect on your mind and body. Don’t laugh. Try drinking 3 cups of coffee a day for six months and then cutting yourself off. Tell me your body doesn’t reject the idea.

So, you’ve hit a snag. Don’t panic. Give yourself a chance to regroup. Take a few days to give your mind a reprise. Take care of yourself. Workout, drink plenty of water, let the phone go to voice mail, shut off the computer and if you can, spend some time focused completely on the kids. See if in a week or so you don’t feel a difference. I once wrote about life coming and going in waves. Just consider this to be one of those waves you need to ride out. Look for things that may be causing those waves and address them; calmly and thoughtfully. You’ll feel better about yourself again and find yourself headed for calmer waters.

As I’ve said in the past, there really is no finish line. Congratulate yourself on reaching this new plateau of self awareness. To be at a point that you can recognize a shift in your approach is a big deal. It means you’ve probably come farther than you even recognized. So stop, take a deep breathe and just contemplate the amazing things that lie ahead as you continue to grow and move forward.


– Side note: As you know. I’m not a therapist. I don’t have a degree in psychology. I only know what I’ve experienced first hand and share it with you in hopes that it may help you through what can be a difficult transition. If you find yourself continuing to have bouts of anger, frustration or depression over long stretches I would strongly urge you to seek the help of someone who is more equipped to get to what could be a deeper root. Meanwhile, give yourself a break. Recognize that you’re human and need to stop from time to time and recharge. This is not a journey to be taken alone. You owe it to yourself to fInd a friend or if you feel it’s necessary, a professional to talk to. 


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2 responses to ““Whoa There Partner!!”

  1. Pingback: Jemima
    • divorced dad

      August 17, 2012 at 11:32 am

      I use at the moment.


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