There are nights when I’m ready for bed at 9:30 and exhausted, yet still find myself awake at midnight. This is especially true when the kids are here.
It’s almost as if my mind won’t let me sleep until it’s assured everything is going to be o.k. and obviously I’m just not there yet. Thankfully, this past year the universe has surrounded me with a world of positive support. It was something I hadn’t recognized until after my wife and I split up. I spent 13 years in a marriage that lacked mutual regard for who the other was. We loved each other but didn’t get each other. As soon as I found myself surrounded by people who “got” me … my outlook changed completely. I started to purposefully gravitate toward people who were more positive and had similar outlooks on life and the world. My entire mindset changed. It was amazing. I also learned that forcing myself to get to bed at 10 once in a while made a world of difference. There’s something about being mentally and physically tired that makes it 10 times easier to become overwhelmed and convinced doom is right around the corner.
I find the kids respond better when I’m in a positive state of mind. It’s like they have a sixth sense. I also find I tend to be shorter tempered and more likely to react abruptly rather than supportively when I’m overly tired or focused on the negatives. That’s not what they need and it usually spirals downward. They need to feel reassured that everything is going to be o.k. and seeing me stressed out and anxious only makes things worse. Staying positive is easier said than done some days … but you do what you can right?
But that’s where being surrounded by positive people pays off the most. Just knowing that there are those I can turn to who will understand and offer sincere and unconditional support makes a huge difference. If I could offer any advice to not just divorced parents, but people in general, it’s to surround yourself with positive minded people who believe in you and that anything is possible. Constant negativity is draining and destructive. The divorce itself brings enough negativity into the mix … having people around you who complain all the time and find everything wrong with the world only makes it worse.
So … get some rest … stay positive and keep coming back. Thanks for visiting and have a great holiday!