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Monthly Archives: November 2011

And We’re Back!

There have been several times during the past few months when I’ve had stark reminders of the changes in my life and how different today is than the same day was a year ago. I’m finding the holidays are proving to be more of an emotional challenge than I anticipated as it starts to sink in that this is our new reality. Moments like Thanksgiving dinner are specific moments that the kids have to compare against previous years and not surprisingly, you can see them trying to adjust and make sense of it all. That’s a lot for an adult, let alone a 7 year old.

All in all the week was amazing. Even the trip (minus the final two hours in the car) was spectacular. It was one of those bonding moments for everyone including the kids and a holiday we’ll probably never forget. I asked all three of them at some point what their favorite part of the week was and my middle child told me that it was being with her family. There were 14 of us around the table and for the kids, from all accounts, they truly felt a part of something. And that’s perhaps the most important thing I got out of our trip. For them to be able to recognize that despite the changes, they’re still a part of something like that was, for me, a breakthrough.

My life is so full of turmoil of late as I desperately attempt to build new foundations and building blocks, that to walk away from a trip like that with 3 kids who are excited about the holidays and recognizing that they’re still loved by so many people, it’s at times overwhelming. At the same time it’s somewhat reassuring that perhaps I’m handling things better than I realize as are they.

Have a great week.

 

Thanksgiving

Going to keep this one short as I’m preparing to spend Thanksgiving with my family. It will be the first time my youngest will have Thanksgiving with my immediate family. We had always gone to my ex-wife’s family for the holiday not for any selfish reason on her part, just the way we had worked out holiday visits over the year.

The trip here was amazing. 13 hours in the car with 3 kids and they did great. Thank goodness for the DVD player, the i-phone and the Nook tablet.  Not a nap was taken the entire trip I might add.

It’s an interesting time in my life and every step is a new one including holidays without a wife by my side. So many mixed emotions, but you simply acknowledge and move on I guess. All I can do is prepare myself to be ready to adjust and be a positive for the kids. So far, they’re doing great and are enjoying time with Nana and Papa and their aunts and uncles.

Looking forward to a great day tomorrow. So much to be thankful for.

Will catch up again as we prepare for our next adventure; the trip back!

 

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2011 in Daily Life, holidays

 

On the road…

3 hours in and we’re stuck. Rain has accidents left and right. Kids are doing such a great job!

More to come.

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2011 in dealing with stress, holidays, Kid Tips

 

1 Car, 3 Kids & 700 Miles

Tomorrow morning the kids and I will embark on a 12 hour (700 mile) trip north to visit my family for Thanksgiving. It will be our first post divorce road trip and our first major holiday without their mom and I together. It will also mark the first time we’ve been with my family for Thanksiving in several years.

Will be posting updates on Twitter and Facebook so be sure to stay tuned. 3 kids, 700 miles, 1 car and a bag of snacks! Hopefully between the Nook, DVD player and i-phone they’ll be able to stay occupied and out of each other’s space.

More to come!

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2011 in holidays, roadtrips, traveling with kids

 

Run For Your Life!

It’s not what you think. In fact it’s probably just the opposite.

When you become a single parent, even when it’s a joint custody situation, time management becomes a required skill set on a much higher level than you’ve ever needed in the past. Every decision, action, and thought about your world is in your hands. A simple trip to the grocery store to buy milk requires putting all three kids in the car because there’s no one else to watch them. Add to the mix, work, deadlines, finances, laundry, groceries, house maintenance, school, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, meetings, … before you know it the week is over and you’ve accomplished a lot, but have spent little if any time on one very important person and that’s you.

I can’t tell you what it is about taking an hour here and there to exercise, but it does wonders I promise. I’ve been an avid runner since the age of 7. It’s an important part of my life. Since the divorce my ability to find time to fit in in has become more challenged. But I know that there are days when that 30-45 minutes literally saved my life and my state of mind. It’s a chance to just blow off steam. Sometimes yell out loud at who ever you want without recoil. It relieves aches, sore shoulders, releases tension and leaves you feeling incredibly drained, but in a good way.

There are days I really just don’t have the energy or gumption to get out there. But when I force myself to go, even for just 2-3 miles, I ALWAYS feel better afterward. I intentionally push myself sometimes to limits beyond what I think I have in me and it never fails to put me in a much better state of mind.

It could be chemical. It could be mental. But regardless. It’s an essential aspect of dealing with everything you have to deal with and puts me in a much better state of mind to handle the pressures of the new schedule.

Some additional reading:

http://running.about.com/od/running101/a/mentalbenefits.htm

http://www.thinkmuscle.com/articles/obrien/exercise-for-mental-health.htm

 
 
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