Sitting here on a Saturday cleaning. The kids are with their mom and I have a rare pocket of time where I can actually focus on reclaiming the house. When I started this morning, I honestly couldn’t remember if my daughter had hardwoods or carpet. It’s carpet.
Rediscovering the power of the purge as well. It’s liberating to just throw stuff out that hasn’t been touched in months. Each toss into the can is like five pounds off my mental shoulders. Simplify my friends … simplify. It’s also fun to see if the kids notice anything missing when they come home. And just so that you don’t judge me to quickly, I only throw out the stuff they haven’t played with in 9-10 months. (He said only half convincingly)
Doing some mental cleaning as well. Tuesday will be my first Valentine’s day as a single in 14 years. Not really sure how I feel about that to be honest with you. I spent 31 years on my own before getting married. You get used to thinking for yourself after that much time and having now rediscovered the joy of that truth, I find myself struggling with the concept of dating again. I enjoyed being married but many things were missing from our relationship including that sense of just loving being around each other. I don’t think my ex-wife would argue too much with that statement. It was something we both wanted terribly, but just didn’t feel.
A camp counselor once told me, “make sure you’re in-love with the person not idea of being in-love.” True that. So as much as I would like to be with my soul mate, having been through a marriage and a divorce there are still many walls protecting this heart and soul. Walls that I put a lot of time and effort into building. And while I recognize that they’re going to need to come down at some point, much like my house, I think I need to do some purging first. There’s a lot of clutter I need to sort through and find the courage to just ‘toss’ in order to make room for new emotions. I think once I accomplish that I’ll find it easier to knock out a few bricks and let some sunshine in.